My first blogger meet up – BloggerPitP

Well what a success! Yesterday I went to my first blogger meet up and as nervous as I was I don’t think it could have gone better. When I saw the tweets from Sarah at ItsSarahAnn about a blogger picnic that was … Continue reading

Don’t be afraid to fuck it all up…

People who pretend they are perfect, please go away. In the age of social media, we are surrounded by the perfect hair, skin, clothes right down to who has made the perfect smoothie.

If you are anything like me, you have at one point or another, felt like you have really fucked things up and it has affected what you thought would be your perfect year, month, week. Whatever your aim was….

I had a plan. Like most of you I’m sure. I was going to go to uni, get the perfect degree, go and travel and then meet the guy while I was abroad – he was going to be American – then move to NYC and live in the perfect loft, earning lots of money and basically having the time of my life. I know, I know it sounds unreachable but I know people who have lived this life or sort of near it – it looks perfect – it probably isn’t.

None of this happened and that’s okay. My life is turning out pretty damn good on it own, without me obsessively worrying about it.

I went to uni, I didn’t get the best degree I could and I’m not making any excuses ‘Libby must try harder’ frequented school reports and Mum said I’ve always just had a wandering mind. I had some family losses during my first and third year at uni and I think it contributed to me not wanting to spend time where I should of been, truth was I was spending a lot of time at home, drinking wine and smoking ciggies with my poor grief stricken mum. Looking back, I truly believe it was where I was most needed at the time.

I didn’t meet my guy until I was finished at uni and I had got my shit together! I didn’t have a man sweep me off my feet. We met, we knew each other from years ago, we re connected, had a Nando’s (big shout out to fellow spicy chicken lovers) and that was it, we were together. I won’t bore you with all the slushy stuff in between but there were tears and fights, still are sometimes because, all together now, everybody fucks up.

Before I met James, I had been with a couple of guys who I can say were not the best choices for me. They ruined my self esteem, cheated on me or lied to me, used me. Hey we’ve all been there, right? So when I met James I was pleasantly surprised when I had found myself an actual grown up man. He wasn’t around to play games, he knew what he wanted and I think I met him because I was in a good place, I knew who I was, what I wanted and I wasn’t here to play games either. I was ready to be a grown up too.

About 2 years ago I had a real down couple of months where I thought ‘ I have really fucked this up, haven’t I’ Since then I have had a bit of a career change, I have started this blog, James and I are in a really good place – saving for a house and thinking about kids – and I finally have come to accept that I haven’t fucked it up at all, I am in a really good position for my age and I am really happy. Not every day, I’m not insane…

Whenever you think about all the bad decisions you have made, think of your life like a history timeline, like the ones you had to make for History GCSE’s. For me, if I had taken the leap and moved to uni full time and left my mum and brother, I wouldn’t have met James. If I hadn’t got rid of my loser ex boyfriend I wouldn’t have gone to uni. If I hadn’t cut a poisonous friend out of my life 6 years ago, I wouldn’t have re connected with my childhood best friend.

Don’t be afraid to fuck it all up, it might lead to something pretty amazing. Here’s a picture of me, really happy 🙂

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Comment you gorgeous lot, I love reading them!

Libby xo

(the girl who never wears white)

20 things I learned in my 20’s. So far….

This is a bit of a weird one because I am only 27 this year so my 20’s haven’t run away from me just yet. 

However what I know now, well I wish I could tell my 19 year old self a few things. 

1. You are okay. Your body is beautiful, don’t hate on it. When I was a teenager I admit it I was judgey, that’s not a word but whatever. I judged myself and others and worst of all myself against others. Urgh don’t do that…

2. Appreciate the silence. I used to hate the quiet, surrounding myself with other people or rushing around. In my 20’s I have definitely mastered the art of alone time. It’s good for my soul.

3. To cope better. I don’t know wether it was hormones or what but in my 20’s, I have learnt to cope better. I used to fly into a rage over anything from dropping something to the washing up. It sounds ridiculous now. Coping strategies on a bad day are a wonderful thing. 

4. Less is more. In my 20’s I have adopted the mantra less is more. I used to wear so much more make up, more fake tan, fake eyelashes, liquid eyeliner every god damn day. How exhausting…

5. Learning to be kinder. Sounds weird I know I’ve always been kind but as I’ve grown up I’ve become kinder, less self satisfied and open to thinking about others before myself. 

6. Embrace my flaws. Accept that I can over reacted or act spoiled or be selfish sometimes I know this seems contradictory to the last point but no ones perfect. Right? 

7. Don’t romanticise every one else’s life. I used to compare my love life or work life to everyone else’s when I was younger. Probably because I wasn’t very happy. I’m happy now so I don’t think I look for reasons to analyse it so much.

8. Take my make up off properly. No explanation needed is there? Haha. I used to use a face wipe and that was it. I know, I know don’t light your torches to burn me at the stake. I do it properly now. Remove, cleanse, tone. Like a good girl…

9. Wear decent shoes. Bit of an odd one but in my 20’s I wore awful, uncomfortable shoes that ruined my feet. I worked on my feet for 49 hours a week when I was a kid and now I know better to wear shoes that won’t make my feet look like claws.

10. Dress for the body you have. I used to wish I was skinnier, smaller boobs, rounder bum etc and I used to try and dress like I did. One word, hideous. Now I dress to my size, I accept the fact I have huge knockers. I quite like them now. 

11. Don’t date dickheads. Haha. I am very happy with James, we have been together for 4 years this year or 5. We don’t have an anniversary. However when I was younger, I went out with some right dickheads, self obsessed boys, one who was a mind fuck and one who didn’t appreciate me. At all. But hey ho, you live you learn. 

12. Get enough sleep. I am less grumpy, I am smarter, my skin is better. Long gone are the days of 4 nights drinking with 12 hours sleep working all week and fitting in Uni. No thanks…

13. See previous point. Don’t drink 7 red bulls a day. Need I say more.

14. Healthy body, healthy mind. I am in no way a clean eater. I eat dominoes and crisps and chocolate and drink sugary lattes. However I do drink lots of water, green tea, exercise a bit, get fresh air. It’s better for my brain. 

15. Hope you’re not bored yet? Save money. Yawn! You never know when your car is going to break down or you need an expensive filling. I know grown up boring stuff. 

16. Appreciate your friends. I have a few friends I can count on one hand who are real friends. Not bitchy or judgemental girls, girls who give you back handed compliments or girls who pretend they are looking out for you. 

Here’s some friends ❤️

17. Make memories. I used to waste my weekends, don’t get me wrong I have some fab hungover memories. Friends and I used to have a Sunday club where we would tell tales of drunken nights before. In my 20’s I have learnt to make memories that mean something to me. That mean more, sunny days filled with holding hands and long walks. Laughing till my sides hurt at James’ jokes. Soppy I know. 

18. Appreciate your family. How I used to moan at my mum interfering or my nan moaning I don’t see her enough. Now I appreciate my mum more than ever and wish my nan was still here for cups of tea and chin wags under the tree in the garden…

19. Work hard. Well, duh I hear you saying but when I was a teenager I didn’t. I coasted, hoping I would do okay. I did do okay, I graduated with a 2:1 and I am in a job I quite enjoy but I can’t help wondering what if I worked a bit harder. So now I do, I work to my full potential as best I can. 

20. Last one, don’t take it all too seriously. I never want to be the girl who was too grown up. Too grown up for an all day cocktail session, or to ride the scariest ride or to walk and walk just to get lost. To dance round the kitchen with James and laugh at his fart jokes. Just have fun, coz before I know it, I will be 30 writing a list again just like this one….

I hope you enjoyed my 20 things I learned when I was 20. I really enjoyed writing it. 

Leave me your comments and links, I love reading them!

Libby xo

(The girl who never wears white)